Bad Math
1+1 = 2 Many! (Way Too Often!)
BUT…
As this picture shows, and these scriptures say, 2 must become 1.
Today’s culture says that is BAD MATH.
Now we live in a society that wants us to believe that 2+2=5.
We grew up learning that 1+1=2.
That formula was what most people took into their marriages too.
However, in matrimony, that is NOT good math.
– Sadly, that is worldly math for todays culture.
– Sadly too many marriages live with that math.
– Sadly most marriages are living like this…even in the church.
Why?SELF!
It is the absolute opposite of todays culture.
☆ Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
• Acts 20:35
The first natural human condition is to ‘GET’.
It is unnatural to human nature to give first.
That is the reason why todays math is so bad.
Because what the equation of 1+1=2 ‘REALLY‘ means:
1 Self Based Person + 1 Self Based Person = 2 Bitter & Resentful People
Sadly,
The Christian marriage is just as guilty of all of this as the secular marriage is.
Selfishness, Pride & Bitterness are just as predominant in the relationships of believers too.
To consider the needs, wants or desires of a wife or husband before thinking of self – well – that seems to be a task that is just too difficult for way too many people.
To have 1+1=1…well, having 2 become 1 just doesn’t add up right in the human brain.
It is too often bad math for the Christian too!
☆ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• Ephesians 5:33
The husband is to love his wife as he loves himself.
That can only work if the man has a healthy love for himself.
So, it is a very good thing for his wife if he has died to self.
But…maybe is hasn’t, what then?
What if the man doesn’t love himself in a healthy or Christ like way?
What if he treats himself badly regarding;
• Pride
• Guilt
• Shame
• Mercy
• Grace
• Forgiveness
If he does…his love for her may be as unhealthy as it is for him.
The wife is to respect her husband.
OK. That is good, and proper, if she understands respect.
It is based on love, not agreement.
A wife can love without respect, but can NOT respect without love.
So, unless there is honest, selfless love in the wife, there can NOT be real respect for the husband.
She won’t respect him if she:
• Does not have humility
• Does not agree with him
• Does not like something he said
• Does not like something he did
• Does not do something she wants
• Does do something she doesn’t want
So, as the scriptures teach us, for that to work in a marriage;
It means the 2 must become 1.
And that is bad math for those who think of self first.
That is against what we know of 1+1=2
And this is not just in marriage, it is in ALL our relationships!
☆ Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
• Philippians 2:3
We are to count all others more significant than ourselves.
OK.
Question;
Is it easier to count friends, some family and sometimes even strangers more significantly than we can count our spouses more significantly?
Be honest – I bet it is easier for you.
I will go out on a limb and predict that you find it easier to be nice, loving, respectful, courteous, humble and self-less with friends than it is to be that way with your spouse.
That is because your marriage math is;
– 1 you, added to 1 spouse,
– Which equals 2 individuals
– That exist together.
That is what makes marriages fail.
But sadly, we can only take into marriages what we already know about marriages.
Which is one of the reasons Jesus himself said to LEAVE THE MOTHER & FATHER, and become one.
As Jesus said:
☆ “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
• Matthew 19:6
Sometimes the worst selfishness, bitterness, pride and unhealthy behavior in a marriage, comes from those family members who intrude into their family members marriages.
Though, culturally, it may be right…
That is bad math.
1+1+2 or 3 = 2
– Those types of opinions can interfere to the point of irreparable damage.
– Those types of behaviors entrench themselves, thus disturbing the relationship.
– Those types of outside busybodies can impose, creating dissension in the marriage.
– Those types of people who butt in are overstepping to impose their will into another’s marriage for their own benefit.
It is not just a violation of the marriage of someone else,
It is also a severe violation of the Word Of God.
☆ Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
• Proverbs 3:3-4
So, if we leave that bad math, and do our math correctly, we should have this equation;
1-2+1=1
– Let us start by being 1 with God
– Let us sincerely remove ourselves to leave the 2 parents out of our marriage,
– Let us die to self, so we can self-LESS-ly love & respect 1 spouse, &
– Let us allow NO MAN to separate that which God has brought together as 1 relationship in GOD.
I love you guys!
